Having Fun with _________ People

Last Updated on December 7, 2018 by Terry

Read and then fill in the blank with a comment at the end.

Way back in September, I lived a very unusual but entertaining week. In the process, I met a few special people.

It began as I spent a couple of days with a client in the oil fields of North Dakota. I flew out of Little Rock and landed in Denver. After 4.5 hours of blissful layover, we headed for Williston, ND.

The landing was uneventful, which is always a good thing. I grabbed my rental car and drove the three quarters of a mile to my motel. That evening I walked the 50 yards to KFC and took supper back to my room to watch some baseball games.

After class the next day, I went back to the airport. My flight back home was scheduled to leave at 5pm. As I stood in the one line at this small airport, I heard the bag lady asking folks if they would volunteer to take a flight the next day. I didn’t ask her any questions during my check-in time, as I needed to get home.

About thirty minutes later in the pre-boarding area, they were asking again. I asked the lady what was going on. She informed me that the runway was short, and we were going to be facing a strong head wind. The pilot had done some calculations and the plane was too heavy. Therefore, they needed three people to step off. I could not get my hand up fast enough.

My problem was not that they needed three, but how large/small should these three be? Did they need three people weighing about 150 each, or 250 each? Due to the fact that they did not specify, I felt that they did not know what they were doing,and I was not interested in partaking in their experiment.

I did in fact watch the take-off and thankfully the small jet did clear the trees at the end of the airport.

Part of the deal to not go with them, was a ticket on a plane the next day at noon. Their first problem was that there were no planes leaving Williston the next day.

In order to get home, I had to get to Minot which was 125 miles away. The airline gave me a voucher totaling $300 for cab fare. It was pre-ordained so the cabby was happy and said it was just enough. They also gave me a voucher for the motel in Minot and one for $10 for food.

The motel would shuttle me to the airport the next day as I had no vehicle to drive. This time it was about three hundred yards to KFC, the nearest place to get something to eat. I was now wishing I had not eaten chicken the night before.

So, with walking staff and voucher in hand, I marched through the parking areas of the bowling alley, the convenience store, the new car lot, the washeteria, and into the side door of KFC. I ordered and handed the fellow the voucher for my $9.54 ticket. He informed me that there would be no change back so I withdrew my hand. I calmly moved to a corner to wait.

A fellow about my age came in and ordered. “I want the two-piece dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and okra,” he announced and after a slight pause continued,“I want three legs with that”. The young man at the counter informed him that he had ordered a two piece. He agreed and repeated that he wanted three legs.

It was obvious that the order taker had not been trained to handle this type of situation and was now staring at the customer. Another young person called my name as my order was ready. I hated to leave, but I had a long walk ahead of me and didn’t want my chicken to become too cold, so I left.

I now regret not knowing the outcome of that debate. From the last look on the young man’s face, I betcha the old nut got his three legs. I am now waiting for my opportunity to try that scam out myself.

“I’m old and confused.” (Just practicing.)

The nosey cat lady

After returning home on a Wednesday evening, Carla informed me that since I had been gone a few days, I needed to fulfill one of my husbandly duties. You know, go to Kroger and pick up some groceries. We just needed a few items, one being cat food. Chuie and Luna, our two rescue cats, have certain expectations. Us providing food is one of them.

The dozen small cans of cat food were the last items on the conveyor. An older lady was now behind me in line. “Excuse me, do you have cats?” she asked me. I smiled and said nothing. I was afraid that if I actually engaged her, I would be in a conversation that could only end badly. (With me being accused of being a smart alec or worse.)

And yes, I did have an immediate response but fought off the urge.

“No ma’am we do not have cats. We like to keep a few cans on hand for when friends drop by.”

I now regret that I did not say it to her. I may have been able to get an entire blog adventure out of that conversation alone.

The worn out smokin’ woman at the hospital

A couple of days later, Allan called me from the hospital ER. He explained that he was having some chest pains and Darce made him go get checked out. I called Jeff and picked him up and away we went to check on them.

As we entered the ER reception desk, a young lady had just wheeled up an old withered woman. She was either 120 years old or had lived a rough life. We weren’t sure which and did not ask. (The old saying of “rode hard and put up wet” came to mind.)

Now I was standing beside her and her wheel chair as I asked about the whereabouts of Allan and Darce. The old haggling suddenly spoke with me in mind: “Do you have a cigarette”?

I informed her I did not and had never had a cigarette. “I don’t smoke.”

I told her and reminded her that it was not healthy. “Hell, I’d smoke a whole damn carton if I had one,” she responded.

Jeff turned away and was attempting to not laugh at this point.

With all seriousness, I cannot describe her appearance properly. Her lifestyle had doneher in for sure. She stood and took a step. The young lady asked her where she was going. “Hell, if I have my say about it.” she replied.

We could no longer contain our laughter, so we headed down the hall to check on Darce (And Allan also.)

I hope you had fun with this one. Let me know. Always be watching, these things happen to you also. Send me your stories and I will get them on the blog. I’m still getting emails from friends who enjoy the adventures, but do not hit like and hare. Please do, as it will not cause you any pain.

Don’t forget to fill in the title blank.

By the way, any or all three of my books will make great stocking stuffers. See you next week. I feel a hunting adventure coming.