Legend of Juicy Juice – Amanda’s 8th Christmas – Adventure of the Week

Last Updated on July 6, 2018 by Terry

I realize it is July, but how about a Christmas story? I’m not a big fan of Santa Claus. I’ve actually shot at him on two different occasions as he was circling our house in his sleigh. I currently have a reward out for him, dead or alive!

His very false existence has cost me a fortune for extra gifts due to the fact that we want our children to have a “GOOD” Christmas. Isn’t that what people always ask, “Did you have a good Christmas?” The only thing that could possibly mean is; “Did your children get a lot of gifts?” Ridiculous.

If you research all the Christmas activities you will find that everything we follow is based on pagan traditions. Of course all church folks are quick to say; “we do it for the right reasons.” They are of course talking about Christmas being Jesus’ birthday. We know from biblical records that Jesus was not born in December.

Basic history tells us that the Roman Emperor Constantine was distraught over the pagans and Christians that made up his kingdom were always fighting. He developed a plan to attempt to unite them. The pagans celebrated the winter solstice between December 21-25.

They would worship the sun gods in order to bring a great spring for the crops. (This assumes the sun gods have magical powers.) Constantine proclaimed Jesus’ birthday to be celebrated on December 25^th in order for his entire empire to be celebrating at the same time. Really, that’s how Jesus got his birthdate.

And of course, the Christians fell in with many of the traditions and we still follow them today. You should really try some very interesting research on this. You then will also want to shoot at Santa next time you see him hovering over your house.

During the Christmas season of 1993, our oldest daughter Amanda was 8 years old. Mikayla would not arrive until 2-14-95. Turns out, the best thing about your children being 9.5 years apart is that having a “GOOD” Christmas only costs half as much for a while. Like all good little children, she felt she had earned a great gift for Christmas.

Remember the times, 1993, the term Boom Box was relevant. And of course, if you were a good parent, you must purchase a Boom Box on the high end for your good child. The madness never stops!

And of course we have our own Christmas traditions at our home. The gifts are opened on Christmas morning. There are no exceptions to this rule. Well, unless your good little girl asks if she can open her main gift on Christmas Eve. (He said main gift.) Another of our traditions is playing a Christmas record. Yes an LP record. We have had it that long.

Right after Carla and I became one, I found a Slim Whitman Christmas album. We have not missed a single Christmas morning without playing it. Amanda was doing her best to help me understand that her new gift would allow us to listen to Slim with better sound. It mattered not that her new musical instrument would not play records. I found myself wondering how she knew what she was getting as her main gift. Of course I gave in.

The gift was perfectly wrapped. (Another of my specialties.) She ran to the tree and pulled the rectangular shaped gift from under it. I noticed I spent a lot more time wrapping her gift than she did unwrapping it. She was smiling as the last of the paper hit the floor. I had given her a set of safe scissors to cut the tape.

As she began unfolding the cardboard, her face became distorted. You could see fear or maybe panic in her eyes. They began to water. She seriously believed I had played a prank on her. The expensive Boom Box was not in the cardboard box. She pulled out a jug of Red Juicy Juice. There were three more, two red and an orange.

Some criminal had purchased the item, switched out the Boom Box with 4 jugs of Juicy Juice, and carefully re-taped it so it appeared untampered with. We were so startled that we forgot to take more pictures. We only have the one you see.

The day after Christmas I called the local Best Buy and spoke with the manager. He seemed unsure as to my claim. I took the box full of children’s flavored sugar water to his location. Apparently the word had gotten out all over the store. As I explained to the young fellow that marks your box as you enter, he began shouting to co-workers; “It’s him” as he would point and inform the other employees. A small crowd had now formed as everyone wanted to see the special Christmas present.

The manager did replace Amanda’s Boom Box, but I don’t think he was ever sure of the entire ordeal. I informed him that there were three possibilities: I did it, another customer did it, or one of his employees was in on it. I left with the new box, after he opened it to make sure that the contents were accurate this time. And of course when I arrived back home, Amanda was happy again as her GOOD Christmas was finalized.

Ho Ho Ho!